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'Daughter molested by step-son'
1. I just found out my nine-year-old daughter was molested by my 17-year-old step son who had been living with us since he was 11. We believe it lasted at least 3 yrs. I have no faith or trust in my own judgement anymore. I worry constantly about how this will effect her in long term. I don't want her out of my sight, but I know I have to let her feel some normalcy, too. She, her dad and I are seeking counselling and the authorities have been notified, the brother has been arraigned (he confessed and later said he was coerced). He is now living with his biological mother and to make it worse we have to pay child support for him. I don't feel I'll ever be in control of my life again, and am concered about my daughter. She is such a smart, well adjusted child, but I feel this has taken all her sense of security away. I am so angry. Any words of wisdom?
Kay

Extra-marital affair
2. I am a 25-year-old married Muslim woman married since four years. I never enjoyed sex with my hubby. Recently I got the opportunity to have sex with one of my husband's friend in his absence who is a Hindu and have an uncircumcised penis. We did is on three more occassions where we performed vaginal as well as oral sex and a must admit that it was divine. I just want to know, does it really make a difference to have sex with an uncircumcised penis? Should I continue this relationship, as my husband who is a travelling salesman will never come to know about it?
Zamar Saharif

Dreaming about sister-in-law
1. I am 40 year-old male, married with 2 children. I have been attracted to my brother's wife for the past 20 years. I have kissed her on her cheeks, and hugged many times, and she did not object. Does this mean that she will not mind me having sex with her. I have masturbated thousands of times thinking about her. I have just been hesistant to ask her directly. Please advise.
Vijay Kumar
Reply From Dr. Prem Lata Chawla: I have been asked this question so often that I have almost started believing and professing that each and every woman should be vary of her husband's brothers and maintain a respectful distance - a kind of 'purdha'. You must know that it takes lots of psychological strength and poise for a woman to bear the unwanted kisses and hugs for the sake of family solidarity. A woman knows a molester. I am all praise for your sister-in-law for bearing your boorish ways. You must learn to exercise restraint and know your limits. Sister-in-law is too sacred a relationship.

Desi mentatility
2. I am a desi with black skin. Right from my childhood, I had bitter experiences of being black-coloured. Until I flash my educational credentials, no one even pays attention. We pray to dark-colored gods such as Ram, Krishna, Venkateshwar, etc. Still black colour is looked down upon. We never have black heros and heroines in our movies; though they are not spectacularly white as I see here in the west. Make-up makes them appear fair and beautiful. Right from my childhood, people tease me about my colour. What should I do?
india_expatriate.
Reply From Dr. Prem Lata Chawla: By writing all about your problem of having been born with dark skin in the highly vitriolic language I hope you got your hurt and anger out of your system. So, you have had your outburst and that catharsis should be enough to sooth you. I have no words to console you and I don't think any consoling is needed. You better make peace with yourself and learn to live in the skin you were born with. You are right about Hindu gods being black but their consorts were lily white. That is how it is.