What happens when friends become more than ‘just friends'? Two couples took the plunge and explored another dimension to their friendship. Meet Vivek and Pooja.. Amit and Gayatri. Vivek and Pooja were childhood friends. They grew up together and had been best friends for 12 years. At 16, Vivek realised that his feelings for Pooja were no longer platonic. He didn't know whether to act on these feelings and tell her about it. Finally he did. To his surprise, she said that she had felt the same about him for a year, but didn't want to take the chance of ruining their long-standing friendship. They became a couple, and have been together for four and a half years. Best decision
Pooja smiles, "When I look back, this was the best thing I ever did. I had no idea it would work out this way. My friends warned me that friendships which developed into relationships never turned out well for either of them. I guess Vivek and I proved them wrong!" But Amit and Gayatri didn't have a happy ending to their relationship. After knowing each other for five years, they took their friendship to a different level. After being together for over a year, cracks began to develop in their relationship. Amit says, "We fought a lot and became very jealous of each other's friends. Getting into a romantic relationship had turned us into completely different people." After numerous efforts to work things out, the two parted ways. "We don't talk much now. I vividly remember Gayatri telling me that it might have been best if we had just stayed friends." Changing equations
What prompts friendships to become stronger or crumble when this transition occurs? Vivek explains, "The equation changes completely. In Pooja and my case, we became more caring about each other. Having been friends for so long, we knew exactly what the other person liked and disliked, and how we would react to a particular situation." No spice
Some argue that this takes the proverbial spice out of a relationship, but these two found the going much easier. He adds, "There was a great degree of comfort between us. We didn't have to tread cautiously. We knew where to draw the line.. this helped to avoid a lot of potential fights." Amit rubbishes the notion that a relationship can be more relaxed and fun if the couple start by being friends first. "That's utter rubbish. People just feel that way. With Gayatri, I became more protective. Things that had never bothered me earlier suddenly became a big deal." This is a reference to her large number of male friends. It troubled Amit and they often fought over this. Bottom line
He points out, "I think friends who become a couple have to be much more tolerant and accepting. They have a very relaxed attitude towards each other's preferences and social habits when they are just friends. This changes drastically when the dynamics of the relationship change. Not everyone is equipped to handle it." He admits that the reason for losing his girlfriend and best friend was his inability to make this transition successfully and his excessive possessiveness." So what does one conclude from this? Vivek sums it up with, "It's important to be really systematic in turning friendship into romance. Friendship and romance are inseparable in many cases, but it's not for everyone."
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